findingLurve?

was offline a few days....
12 October 2005- I put up my parents pics beside my mouse here at the office…mmmm….source of inspiration?....i guess…what sort of inspiration am I lookin at here….

Two people I dearLy love….formally sitting together ..i look at abah n I always see me…im the “mini-me” of him….hehehe…I copycat eThing he does….hoping one day iLL get to b where he is today….well-respected, honest, admired by most, smart and loving….i look at mama…n I wish I had her courage, ..her confidence. her ability to stay calm even in the most outrages moments. …inappropriate times ….gosh am I looking at them…

At this very moment.. one source of inspiration I can feel from this is…their passion for each other….and after all these years…its still there…..abah with his harsh language when telling a story n ma reminding how improper someOne of his status should say anything like that…….when I was little, at lunchtime, mama will always get a phonecall…just one phone call…it may b a brief one, or a gossip or just to say hello…and its always from abah…n yep…its still there….ma’s not working anymore n abah calls sometimes more than once…..

I look at them n I envy their companionship, how they compliment each other…how one fine lady can live wit a very outspoken men n have many laughs along the way….yeah so we’ve got out hard moments….i will never forget that day we had to send laober to perak…. When I saw abah dropped a tear…or ma’s concern the day I was diagnosed when I locked the door, swearing I wont open it till I die ….(eventually I opened it..heheh…me n my drama’s)….or when ma cried even harder the day I let my first love away….they’ve got passion in them in everything they touch…..so I blame my passionate instinct on them(heheheeh)..

Most of the time I tend to wonder,,,,

Will there ever a time I look at the pic…n I see me n my companion?...that one person I love and adore ( n hate ) at the same time…the one person that will annoy me at times….but will always have my back?....will I ever find the courage to find the better half of me?...will I look back 30 years from now n realized ive been laughing all my life?....will there ever be that moment where I look around me…n all I can see are my parents’ passion of Life, that ive brought down to my children n grandchildren?

(insyaAllah)
curryCurry